


red dust, riding, and paperwork

by jillyfae



Category: Sparks Nevada Marshal on Mars
Genre: Ficlet Collection, Gen, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 06:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1972020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillyfae/pseuds/jillyfae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>interstitials and ridiculousness and possibly there will eventually be some shooting of robots and of course there are absolutely <i>no serious feelings anywhere</i> because that would be silly</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. something weird this way comes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Annakie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annakie/gifts), [lea_hazel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lea_hazel/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparks, Croach, and Red end up in Kirkwall. Because Everything is Dragon Age. And Annakie asked. :D

SPARKS: “This ain’t Earth.”

RED: “Well mebbe it’s just a different part of - “

SPARKS: “No.  I would know.  I’m from - “

RED: “Yeah, yeah.”  *audibly rolls her eyes*  ”But those are humans over there, ain’t they?”

CROACH: “One of them has a clearly different metabolism and skeletal structure, according to six of my - “

SPARKS: “Whaat?  No. What?

"They all look like people to me.  They clearly aren’t science or technology aliens.  And they were laughing a minute ago.  Sounded like people laughing, not something creepy like … MurderMen, or something.”

RED: “ _Anyways._ They ain’t shooting, they ain’t our problem.”

SPARKS: "They’re obviously people though. I mean. Really Just look at them."

RED: “OUR PROBLEM, Nevada, is where we are.  Or where we ain’t?  ’Cause we ain’t on Mars, the mountains’re the wrong shape.  And it ain’t the moon, ‘cause Croach ain’t moon drunk again.” _  
_

CROACH: “There is no such thing as _moon drunk_ , The Red Plains Rider. I thought you were learning from the collected scrolls of G’loot Praktaw. Did you not attend to the lessons forbidding the use of metaphoric expressions? Again? _  
_

"Plus you clearly have not been paying proper attention to the part about contractions."

RED: “Croach. There are more important things goin’ on than my talkin’ not being good enough for you.  Like, maybe, riding into a cave on Mars, and then riding out of a cave onto something that  _ain’t Mars._   You ever gonna get on board with worrying about that?”

CROACH:  ”The Red Plains Rider. I am Croach  _The Tracker._   All we have to do is follow our path back through the caves to return from where we came.”

RED: “Oh really.  That’s all. And if’n that don’t work?”

CROACH: “For what possible reason would that not work?  Do you not trust in my tracking abilities?”

SPARKS: “Uh. Maybe it won’t work ‘cause the cave’s not there no more?”

CROACH: “Do not be even more ridiculous than usual, Sparks Nevada, caves do not just - “

RED: “Apparently that one does.  Or doesn’t? Or isn’t, anyways.  Got a Plan B in that bright blue head of yours?”

CROACH:  …

RED:  ”Yeah.  Thought so.  Nevada?”

SPARKS:  ”Even if we ain’t on Mars, I’m still the Marshal.  We’ll just, take a little look around, go ask those people over there.  Won’t be no trouble at all figuring things out.”

RED: “Unless they came out of another cave further down that disappeared too.”

CROACH: “The likelihood of there being two separate unexplained cave related phenomena on the same mountain range, at the same approximate time … “

RED:  ”Have you ever figured out the likelihood of any of the other things you’ve actually seen happen right in front of you during the past few years, Croach?”

SPARKS:  ”Don’t be asking him that, Red, why would you ask him that?  You know he’ll make a list, and he’ll organize the list, and then he’ll itemize the list, and it’ll be weird and comparative of things that oughtn’t to be compared, and then somehow we’ll end up talking about feet or Jupiter babies or comets or the left leg of a robot or singing pianos and talking horses and, and … we got other things to do, right now. Like, now, now.  And not, you know, feet related things, I mean to say … *coughs*

"Let’s ride."


	2. the past endures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lea_hazel prompted [Red/Croach or Red/Jim](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/83733620388) for a meme on tumblr; and while I actually quite adore Jim/Red, I think there's something special there for Red and Croach and their shared past.

She knew his name before her own.

There’d been a time, before she’d settled into the first of her marjun names, when it itched.  It weren’t hers, not yet, (not ever, really, she’d gotten a new one as soon as she was old enough to ask for it), so she’d tried not to think it, not to say it, but how can you be you when you is a pause between words in your own head, a missing sound, not an actual thing at all?

Croach though.

He was always, and had always been, Croach.

Same, steady eyes.

Same slight tilt to his head when she was talking, the barest hint of that driving curiosity he always denied, that hint of  _wanting to know_ and  _willing to wait to get it,_  that she’d never seen in anyone else.

'Specially not a marjun.  They mostly tried to avoid the humans, truth be told.  Not that she could blame 'em, considering.

'Cept they’d saved her.

And they’d raised Croach, now, hadn’t they?

Raised him to leave ‘em.

Only he never left her.  

Well, except when he did.

Idiot.

But he always came back.  Those same steady eyes, checking on her, making sure she was safe, sure she was happy.

Hard to imagine there’d ever be a happy without him in it, somewhere.


	3. why are we doing this again? (do we even know what 'this' is, anymore?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> written for an [anonymous tumblr prompt](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/92038103623); takes place after episode 166

RED: You promoted  _what_ to Sheriff?

SPARKS: It’s a perfectly functional robot.

CROACH: That killed the last sheriff.  _Who didn’t even want to be Sheriff._ But he got invited to be anyways.

SPARKS: I changed its directive. It’s fine. We’re fine. It’s all fine.

Besides, that’s usually how people get the Sheriff job. Perfectly normal.

CROACH: Oh, so I should have just shot you, and then I would have been included in the competition?

SPARKS: …

That don’t work for Marshalls. Only Sheriffs.

CROACH: Very convincing.

RED: Is that sarcasm?  _Was that sarcasm?_

Did you teach Croach  _sarcasm,_  Nevada?

SPARKS: NO.

Well, I mean, apparently, but it’s not my fault. I didn’t do it on purpose.

RED: Instead you made a murderin’ robot into Town Sheriff on purpose.

SPARKS: …

And you think just leavin’ it here while we’re all the way ‘cross the planet is a good idea?

SPARKS: Well. You could go without me. If you’re really worried. I’ll just stay here, keep an eye on things.

Finish my paperwork that you keep interrupting.

RED: So, and I repeat, because you seem to be missing this important concept,  _you made a murderin’ robot into Town Sheriff._

SPARKS: He’s not a murderer. He was just followin’ orders. And I changed his orders. So. 

RED: So’s you could stay here and keep an eye on him and avoid helpin’ me do the thing you already promised to help me do?

SPARKS: I don’t know that  _promised,_  I mean, it’s more you just told me I was going to … well.

When you put it like that. 

CROACH: That seems a highly accurate way to put it.

SPARKS: You’re not helping.

CROACH: Of course I am. I am always helpful. You are the one making questionable decisions regarding law enforcement on G’loot Praktaw.

SPARKS: You mean Mars, no I mean G’loot Praktaw, everybody calls it Mars,you mean  _you call it_ , you know what, nevermind.

*sighs*

Things used to be simpler.

RED: You mean  _you_  used to be simpler.

SPARKS: I know you think that’s an insult. But it ain’t. Nothing wrong with simple and straightforward.

RED: You keep telling yourself that, Nevada.

SPARKS: I will.

RED:  _While_  we’re ridin’ … this is takin’ too long already. So stop standin’ around starin’ sadly at your desk, Nevada, and get your horse.

SPARKS: But it’s a nice desk. I like my desk. I never get to just sit at my desk anymore.

RED: Dangit, Nevada, what are you, twelve? Stop whinin’ and get moving.

CROACH: If he is going to be distracted by the work here in town, we could just leave him here. I am ready to assist you, The Red Plains Rider, and then we would not need to wait.

SPARKS: I’m completely ready, you’re the one who’s been whining all day.

CROACH: I do not whine.

SPARKS: Says who? ‘Cause if it’s you, you’re lyin’.

CROACH: I do not prevaricate, Sparks Nevada.

SPARKS: Really? ‘Cause I seem to remember a fellow named  _Charles_  who might disagree with you.

CROACH: …

RED: How’s about we all of us get out of town, and then no one says anythin’ for at least an hour. How’s that sound?

SPARKS: Quiet.

CROACH: I can be quiet.

SPARKS: I can be quieter.

CROACH: I can be silent.

RED: Don’t do that. No. You’ve been doin’ better lately, I swear, almost like grown-ups. Occasionally. Don’t you  _dare_  start that again.

SPARKS AND CROACH: *mutters agreement*quietly*

RED: *sighs*

Why did I ask you two for help again? This is a terrible, terrible idea.


End file.
